As the song goes: "I'm an emotional girl, I can't help myself, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I do both and I don't know why..."
That's me this past couple weeks. Full of emotion. Not quite knowing what to do with myself. My circumstances have been less than stellar the past couple years. I lost my job, my car broke down, I have no transportation except for borrowing my Mom's vehicles when needed. Unemployement...poverty is a never ending cycle. You can't get to work because you don't have a vehicle, but you can't buy a vehicle if you don't have a job. It's so frustrating.
If you read this, and you know me (or even if you don't), say a prayer for me. Yes, God is taking care of my basic needs. I am lucky to have food, shelter, etc. I could clearly be homeless. But, I am still hurt at times when I see people around me who have the things that I don't: a spouse/love, a home, a vehicle, a job. Especially when they aren't always thankful for what they have.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
How Moving was SO much more...
When I hear parents contemplating how a move might affect their children, I always think "It WILL change their lives". Most people don't believe that. They think children are resilient, they will bounce back, they will easily adjust and so on. But, there are some things that can never be recaptured. There are some places that are no so accepting. Moving is hard, life-changing.
I grew up in a small town in Florida. I went to Ft McCoy Elementary. I remember that there was a new middle school created just before I left. It was "MY" school. When you start out at a school, when in Kindergarten you make friends and the bus driver seems like your Grandma, well, it all just seems like it belongs to you. You might say that in most areas, I was my school's elite. I was in gifted class; took the next year's state standardized tests (if I was in 3rd grade, I took 4th) and still made a high score; if there was a club, I was in it; I was the safety patrol; all the teachers knew me; I had the same friends since Kindergarten, and we just kept adding more (we were cool like that). I went to school there from Kindergarten until about half way through my 6th grade year. We had just gotten into that new school. There were some new people because a couple districts were put together (new friends!). We were in the year where we could learn all that the new classes had to offer: taxidermy, choir, PE, business and so on. And then...MOVE.
My parents decided to move to Missouri. Mind you, we knew NO ONE there. They felt it would be a closer trip to visit family in Indiana, without actually being in Indiana. My Grandma moved with us, but other than that, we didn't know anyone where we moved. Now, granted, kids are resilient. I made friends, but I wasn't the elite anymore. I wasn't considered all that cool. It wasn't the same. I felt I held my own the rest of my Middle School and High School years. Now, just about everyone in town does know who I am. But, the move was life-changing. I didn't have the friends I had for the past 7 years. Everyone else did, they had all gone to school together, they knew each other, they had those "remember when" times. That made me a bit on the outside. Sleepovers didn't happen much, my Mom only trusted a few of my friend's home situations (again, we really didn't know them). We weren't around people much, didn't have get togethers and so on. Throughout high school, I dated maybe 3 guys locally. I feel like this caused me to end up being in relationships I shouldn't have...like I had no other choice. In Florida, I was going to go to the University of Florida at Gainsville, be a "Gator"; believe me, yes, in 6th grade I had this planned out. There was "no way" for me to go that far away to go to college. I wasn't in Florida anymore, I wasn't a native, I wasn't a gator...I was in Missouri.
It is hard to even explain the extent of how I feel things were so different for me because we moved. But, I can say that it was enough to keep me in one place now, for my children's sake. One son has much more social interaction than the other. But, I know if they stay in the same school K-12, they will know the City Attorney; they will know the police officers, and the fire fighters, and the shop owners...they will know the people who will affect their lives. They will know how things work in the small town we live in. They will know where to go when they need support. They will have roots, and after all, we all need those to grow. And then, they can fly...fly off to another college...be a gator, or even a tiger if they want to. Be grounded, but also grow. Please, think of your children when making decisions.
I grew up in a small town in Florida. I went to Ft McCoy Elementary. I remember that there was a new middle school created just before I left. It was "MY" school. When you start out at a school, when in Kindergarten you make friends and the bus driver seems like your Grandma, well, it all just seems like it belongs to you. You might say that in most areas, I was my school's elite. I was in gifted class; took the next year's state standardized tests (if I was in 3rd grade, I took 4th) and still made a high score; if there was a club, I was in it; I was the safety patrol; all the teachers knew me; I had the same friends since Kindergarten, and we just kept adding more (we were cool like that). I went to school there from Kindergarten until about half way through my 6th grade year. We had just gotten into that new school. There were some new people because a couple districts were put together (new friends!). We were in the year where we could learn all that the new classes had to offer: taxidermy, choir, PE, business and so on. And then...MOVE.
My parents decided to move to Missouri. Mind you, we knew NO ONE there. They felt it would be a closer trip to visit family in Indiana, without actually being in Indiana. My Grandma moved with us, but other than that, we didn't know anyone where we moved. Now, granted, kids are resilient. I made friends, but I wasn't the elite anymore. I wasn't considered all that cool. It wasn't the same. I felt I held my own the rest of my Middle School and High School years. Now, just about everyone in town does know who I am. But, the move was life-changing. I didn't have the friends I had for the past 7 years. Everyone else did, they had all gone to school together, they knew each other, they had those "remember when" times. That made me a bit on the outside. Sleepovers didn't happen much, my Mom only trusted a few of my friend's home situations (again, we really didn't know them). We weren't around people much, didn't have get togethers and so on. Throughout high school, I dated maybe 3 guys locally. I feel like this caused me to end up being in relationships I shouldn't have...like I had no other choice. In Florida, I was going to go to the University of Florida at Gainsville, be a "Gator"; believe me, yes, in 6th grade I had this planned out. There was "no way" for me to go that far away to go to college. I wasn't in Florida anymore, I wasn't a native, I wasn't a gator...I was in Missouri.
It is hard to even explain the extent of how I feel things were so different for me because we moved. But, I can say that it was enough to keep me in one place now, for my children's sake. One son has much more social interaction than the other. But, I know if they stay in the same school K-12, they will know the City Attorney; they will know the police officers, and the fire fighters, and the shop owners...they will know the people who will affect their lives. They will know how things work in the small town we live in. They will know where to go when they need support. They will have roots, and after all, we all need those to grow. And then, they can fly...fly off to another college...be a gator, or even a tiger if they want to. Be grounded, but also grow. Please, think of your children when making decisions.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Let Go and Let God, part 2
Just so my readers know, my Grandma and Aunt came home, 2 weeks and 2 days after they left. There were plans of some to try to keep them in Alabama. My Grandma was insistant that she wanted to come home. My mother, her sister, my sister were all concerned and making plans to go get Grandma if necessary.
I said "God is in control. He's got this, He doesn't need us to act."
The kids and I prayed for Grandma & my Aunt to return safely home. We stayed faithful and expecting. Even when everyone around us kept complaining. Even when circumstances looked bleak.
The thing is, when you Let Go and Let God, He will handle it for you. You don't need to act, unless He tells you to. If necessary, He will use even those who oppose His will to fulfill it. He's God.
I said "God is in control. He's got this, He doesn't need us to act."
The kids and I prayed for Grandma & my Aunt to return safely home. We stayed faithful and expecting. Even when everyone around us kept complaining. Even when circumstances looked bleak.
The thing is, when you Let Go and Let God, He will handle it for you. You don't need to act, unless He tells you to. If necessary, He will use even those who oppose His will to fulfill it. He's God.
Wisdom from Jesse Duplantis
Excerpt taken from "God Keeps His Promies", Covenant Magazine, 10/09
Reasons That Chrisitans Die Sick
There are a lot of reasons why people can die even after they've prayed for healing--too many to mention in this little article.
Sometimes, they don't really believe in healing. They might profess it with their mouth because they think it's the right thing to do, but inside they feel it's just part of life...and part of death.
Other times, they secretly want to escape this life. You'd be surprised how many people claim they want healing and secretly just want to go home to Heaven. They've already given up in their heart. They're tired of fighting their body and the devil--they've become weary in well-doing. They simply don't want to do it anymore.
Other times, there is a huge amount of fear present, and it just cancels out the force of faith. You'd be surprised how many people claim they're standing on the Word, but live in fear of death the whole time they're laying in the hospital bed. They ball and squall one minute in fear, and then pull themselves up and clain strong faith when a fellow Christian walks through the door. That's like trying to drive cross-country and stopping every fifteen minutes for a coffee break. You won't get anywhere soon.
Also, you'd be suprised how often other people hinder the healing process. Many times, Christians will come to pray and lay hands on the sick, but when they leave the hospital room, the immediately stop believing. They just prayed a great prayer--of doubt--and they don't believe that the person will be healed any more than they believe the moon is made of cheese. They came to just give it their best shot with God. That's what I call gambling at the Gospel casino. Their faith is cracking before they hit the door, and that's no good for the sick person!
Other times, a person has no foundation in the love and mercy of God. They wonder still if He loves them enough to heal them. They may have a lot of issues surrounding worthiness and so, they feel that they can't boldly approach the throne of grace in their time of need. They may pray, but they cannot release full faith in God because they aren't really sure that He'll come through, which means that they aren't sure God loves them.
There are so many other situations surrounding the death of sick Christians, none of which have anything to do with the sovereign power of God. Do a study for yourself in the scriptures on those that were healed under Jesus' ministry. Notice the deperate "must-have-it" type of faith that some had. Notice the single-minded focus on the healing power of God.
Yet, you will also see in researching the scriptures that there was also a time when Jesus could not heal anyone. Was it because He didn't have the power? No, it was because He was dealing with a group of people who didn't believe that He was Who He said He was. They were unsure of Him as God's Son. Surety is a critical part in receiving healing.
The Spirit, Mind, & Body Work Together
It's important to establish strong faith for healing before sickness ever arises because it's much harder to play "catch up" in your faith when your body is physically weak.
The boyd responds to the mind and the spirit. But if the mind is arguing with the spirit, what do you think the body will do? Nothing! it will keep on doing its own thing until a stronger voice tells it what to do. The body is just a vessel for the real you--the combination of your recreated spirit and your soul, which is your mind, will, and emotions.
Walking in love towards others is also a critical part of receiving healing. After all, how can we expect our faith to work when we're not walking in love? Galatians 5:6 tells us that faith actually works by love. If we're in unforgiveness towards another person or sowing seeds of discord, that stops our faith from working. Faith is crucial to receving healing power; so love must also be paramount in our lives.
Your spirit is strong, but your mind needs conditioning--transforming--and the way to do that is to saturate yourself with the Word of God. Let it renew your mind so that you believe it, because that's when you're going to receive it in your boddy. Your body will listen to what your mind is saying, so line up your mind with the Word.
--Jesse Duplantis
Reasons That Chrisitans Die Sick
There are a lot of reasons why people can die even after they've prayed for healing--too many to mention in this little article.
Sometimes, they don't really believe in healing. They might profess it with their mouth because they think it's the right thing to do, but inside they feel it's just part of life...and part of death.
Other times, they secretly want to escape this life. You'd be surprised how many people claim they want healing and secretly just want to go home to Heaven. They've already given up in their heart. They're tired of fighting their body and the devil--they've become weary in well-doing. They simply don't want to do it anymore.
Other times, there is a huge amount of fear present, and it just cancels out the force of faith. You'd be surprised how many people claim they're standing on the Word, but live in fear of death the whole time they're laying in the hospital bed. They ball and squall one minute in fear, and then pull themselves up and clain strong faith when a fellow Christian walks through the door. That's like trying to drive cross-country and stopping every fifteen minutes for a coffee break. You won't get anywhere soon.
Also, you'd be suprised how often other people hinder the healing process. Many times, Christians will come to pray and lay hands on the sick, but when they leave the hospital room, the immediately stop believing. They just prayed a great prayer--of doubt--and they don't believe that the person will be healed any more than they believe the moon is made of cheese. They came to just give it their best shot with God. That's what I call gambling at the Gospel casino. Their faith is cracking before they hit the door, and that's no good for the sick person!
Other times, a person has no foundation in the love and mercy of God. They wonder still if He loves them enough to heal them. They may have a lot of issues surrounding worthiness and so, they feel that they can't boldly approach the throne of grace in their time of need. They may pray, but they cannot release full faith in God because they aren't really sure that He'll come through, which means that they aren't sure God loves them.
There are so many other situations surrounding the death of sick Christians, none of which have anything to do with the sovereign power of God. Do a study for yourself in the scriptures on those that were healed under Jesus' ministry. Notice the deperate "must-have-it" type of faith that some had. Notice the single-minded focus on the healing power of God.
Yet, you will also see in researching the scriptures that there was also a time when Jesus could not heal anyone. Was it because He didn't have the power? No, it was because He was dealing with a group of people who didn't believe that He was Who He said He was. They were unsure of Him as God's Son. Surety is a critical part in receiving healing.
The Spirit, Mind, & Body Work Together
It's important to establish strong faith for healing before sickness ever arises because it's much harder to play "catch up" in your faith when your body is physically weak.
The boyd responds to the mind and the spirit. But if the mind is arguing with the spirit, what do you think the body will do? Nothing! it will keep on doing its own thing until a stronger voice tells it what to do. The body is just a vessel for the real you--the combination of your recreated spirit and your soul, which is your mind, will, and emotions.
Walking in love towards others is also a critical part of receiving healing. After all, how can we expect our faith to work when we're not walking in love? Galatians 5:6 tells us that faith actually works by love. If we're in unforgiveness towards another person or sowing seeds of discord, that stops our faith from working. Faith is crucial to receving healing power; so love must also be paramount in our lives.
Your spirit is strong, but your mind needs conditioning--transforming--and the way to do that is to saturate yourself with the Word of God. Let it renew your mind so that you believe it, because that's when you're going to receive it in your boddy. Your body will listen to what your mind is saying, so line up your mind with the Word.
--Jesse Duplantis
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